Mixed Signals

We'll take your kids and pregnant girls
and watch every move from the pearl
but no matter how bad we sound
you will be glad that we're around

We'll knock you out with poison darts
and we'll conspire to break your heart
let me make sure that we are clear
we are the good guys around here

It's so hard being an other!

I'll trick you into fixing me
with the promise of going free.
Let me reiterate once more
we're super guys right to the core

Its so hard being an other!

Lost Nutrition

Oh what could they be eating,
wild grass and boar?
No gum lines are receding,
so there must a little more.

Oh Juliette! I implore!
Don't be stingy with the vitamins we've seen you store.
Don't you think that they might need a bit more Lost little nutrition?

When they found the Swan's stash
they thought they'd be home free,
but its been 3 months now
and this wild living steals your calories.

And I conceed that I'm no MD
but something still seems a bit fishy,
don't you think that they might need a bit more Lost nutrition?

And I don't mean to sound like your dad (no!),
and I don't mean to sound like your mom (no!),
but if they're not eating right,
they ain't fit to fight!
Lets give them vitamins and some Vegemite!
Eat up ya'll, I think you'll need that Lost nutrition!

They brought no gyms nor groceries
from this one-way trip.
And while they're getting chiseled,
I'm packing it in with more chips and dip.

And I know that its just TV,
but, come on, the people should be at least starving!
How is it possible that they're still more fit than me?
I guess I just I don't understand this thing called Lost nutrition.

Magic Box

Magic Box is a metaphor.
John, its not literal!
The cabin's not what you're looking for,
just someone to tell you
what you should do now.

Magic Box is a metaphor
John, where do you think you are?
You're not in hell.
This isn't purgatory.
This is your life now.

And maybe you need Helen to tell you what you can't do.

Magic Box is a metaphor
John, look what you did to Boone.
The island's worth how many more?
Just who are you fighting for?
Your friends all seem to leave you.

And maybe you need Ben to tell you what you can't do.

Where's my man of faith?

And maybe you need Jack to tell you what you can't do.

Hurley (One in 156,000,000)

Heres a little story about Hurly and his problems.
He's got a lot of money and boy the world it wants them.
They do!
But thats the way he is.

I always hear him cracking wise, oh boy, hes got a million.
He's crammin down that ranch! Don't he know that stuff will kill him?
He do!
And thats the way he is

Oh, Hurley! you could date my sister
Oh, Hurley! you could be my brother
Oh, Hurley! Least annoying character
Oh, Hurley! you're one in 156 million

Hurleys always thinking about his cursed numbers.
I bet he counts them in his sleep, and spits them when he mutters.
He don't!
But thats the way he is.

The way he wears his beard, more than a bit repellant.
He's sweeter than a peach, but hangs out with a felon.
He does!
And thats the way he is.

And oh how it starts to grate.
All jabs and jokes that you take on
with no punchline except your weight.

And oh how they hold you back.
You've got a winning charm that they all lack
(eg. comapre to Locke or Jack)

And if I must speak frankely
out of 48, only one's survival matters a bit to me.
And his name is:

Oh, Hurley! You could make a movie
Oh, Hurley! Be played by John Balushi
Oh, Hurley! Show the world you're not a looney
Oh, Hurley! You're one in 156,000,000

Offensive Nicknames

Sawyer's about to call me something, and I won't get it,
Some people think he's bigotted but I know he's well read.
Cause he's gonna drop a reference and it will confound me,
I'll have to look it up on Wikipedia or IMDB

Still he won't get a lick of respect, he's no good at back gammon.

Freckles, Zeake, Tatoo, and Mr. Clean and al Jazeera,
This southern boy is clever but his mouth's got diahrea
Unexpected leader and an unexpected hero
Ben fiddles while the island burns, come on man, call him Nero

Still he won't get a lick of respect, he's no good at ping-pong (x4)

Sawyer offends me with my new nickname.

Still he won't get a lick of respect, he's no good at back gammon
Still he won't get a lick of respect, he's no good at poker
Still he won't get a lick of respect, he's no good at horseshoes
Still he won't get a lick of respect, he's no good at ping-pong

Perpetual Shadow

Charlie asked, "Where are we?"
He knew right away that something was wrong.
Just look at the doc's face.
It never comes off, yet it never gets long.
(Guys where are we?)

Does anyone think it's weird,
That we never see him shave, yet he never grows a beard?
It's just another mystery.
Does anyone think it's strange,
That he never does a thing, yet it never seems to change?
It's just another mystery.

Maybe it's the island,
Challenging Sawyer to fight for the girl.
But how can he compete,
Against those rugged good looks and MD title?
(Maybe it's the monster.)

I can see the spinoff,
With thousand-dollar suits and pastel t-shirts.
Driving a Ferrari,
And busting drug dealers right where it hurts.
(In Miami.)